How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
