Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize