i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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