Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
