Whats the glycemic index on semen?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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