You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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