Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
