I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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