I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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