kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
