we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
