What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
