Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
