You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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