Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
