i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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