you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
