tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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