i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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