Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
