Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize