He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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