The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
