you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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