We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
