Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
