Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize