he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
