remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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