I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
