Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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