Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
