Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize