Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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