i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
