After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
