Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
