We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
