i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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