Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize