This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
