just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
