the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
