wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
