I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize