And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
