we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
