Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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