Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
