let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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