I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
