Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize