I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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