I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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