oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
