I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
