i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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