I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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